Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
