You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
