What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
