i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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