Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
