Where is the hickey?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
