My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
