It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
