My nipple is on Facebook.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
