Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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