Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
