Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize