oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
