It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
