Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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