The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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