WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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