Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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