I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
