The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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