community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize