But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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