3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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