You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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