I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
