Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
