i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
