You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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