hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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