then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There r osticjed everywhere
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
