I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
