Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
