Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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