So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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