dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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