exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
