Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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