dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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