closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
