That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
