Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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