it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
