he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im six kinds of drunk right now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
cat food counts as protein by the way
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize