She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
