I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
