You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
