Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
