Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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