So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize