if you like me you must not know who I am
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
