So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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