...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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