I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
