Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
