sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
third nipple confirmed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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