She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
